Carpool Gawker: Check Out Hotties From a Vehicle

Seeing an attractive person activates in our brains, the same pleasure sensors we get from being in a happy environment, or eating something tasty. We feel good when we experience it, and our brain thinks of it as a reward, making it instinctive for us to check out any beaut that passes by.

During our daily commutes in our vehicles, we have the opportunity to pass by thousands of people a day on the road. This gives us an abundance and variety to check out good-looking strangers, with very little consequence. However, our fast paced lifestyles, and sheer amount of people on the road, minimizes the chance to savor the essence of most passing dazzlers.

Consider the following tips to make the most of your hottie gazing from a vehicle.

Carllrac Presents: How to check out hot drivers from a moving vehicle. With Acronyms!

The Controlled intersection car alignment. “CICA”

When someone catches your attention on the road. Whether mid-stream on the move or right at the red light, a controlled intersection alignment allows you to directly match up to the hottie next to you. This will give you the ability to get a healthy look, as well as match speed and velocity when the light turns green. The result will become at least one block of unobstructed staring, until you get to the next light… or they catch on to what you are doing and awkwardly speed away from you.

Mid stream, Speed adjacent match and glance. “MSSAMAG”

This is the best opportunity to stare without getting caught. The other driver you are checking out will be too focused on the road ahead as they should be. However, you will be too distracted by the other person's beauty and have as much time as you need to take your peek.

The 45 degree passenger silhouette stares. “FFDPSS”

Anytime you are observing another person at an angle outside of their purview, you can consider yourself in a covert state. The 45 degree stare from behind them is enough to catch their side profile from in between the subject persons front seats through the back passenger side window. Or if you are behind them coming up on their driver side your view of them is even more expansive through your windshield and front passenger window. At this distance and angle, they will be completely oblivious to the fact that some weirdo is checking them out, as they are singing uninhibitedly to their favourite radio pop song.

Hitchcockonion rear view mirror stare. “HRVMS”

Think of the classic master of movie suspense or any old black and white movie thriller, when employing this stare tactic. Put yourself in the seat of the “stare victim.” As you are talking to yourself, perhaps a lively self talk about the nature of existence and meaning of life, when you look into the rear view mirror in front of you. Your two intent eyeballs, illuminated by oncoming cars, daytime running lights are locked on to the hottie the whole time.

Fast food drive through side mirror forward stare into their mirror. “FFDTSMFSITM”

This method is just as convoluted as it sounds. Checking out a hottie is easy when you are behind them at a fast food drive through and they lean forward to speak out their order into the order board microphone. Being behind them and off to the side rear of them may not allow you to see the complete face from your vantage point, but leaning towards the driver side window is the key, as you will be able to get an unobstructed view of their face in their side window. One of the best parts is, staring at them won’t be too obvious because, objects in the mirror are usually closer than they appear.

Vehicle Overtake rubber neck. “VORN”

Sometimes in order to get the best look you have to dispense with stealth and aggressively go for the full stare. The best way to do this in a moving vehicle is to overtake the vehicle of the person you need to check out. Run up on their side, match speeds, take a longing glance which they may seem as judgemental of their slowness, but pretend to struggle with the overtake and break away from them once you have taken in the full essence of their hotness. You can also use that judgemental look of disgust to your advantage, should it turn out the person you were checking out wasn’t quite as hot as you thought. Then speed away.

Groove to the music for increased head mobility and expanded vision periphery. “GTTMFIHMAEVP”

This is all about technique in doing something we would normally enjoy doing alone in our vehicles. The key to this is to play your tunes extra loud. The commotion you create while enjoying your tunes will prompt the person in the other car to look at you, and then look away when you turn your head in their direction to avoid any eye contact. This will allow you to uninhibitedly stare back at them without having them look back.

The High Definition dash cam park and rewind. “HDPW”

At some point, this whole endeavour is bound to de-escalate into some weird voyeuristic situation that may fall into some grey area of you documenting this act of looking at hotties in other cars. We currently do this right now in the form of the vehicle dash cam. essentially recording video of strangers going about their day, not considering the fact that someone may be taking video footage of them from their vehicles. You can combine your compulsion by using a vehicle dash cam, preferably a less expensive HD camera that you can rewind and playback after safely parking in a non traffic area to determine if that other driver was as good looking as you thought.

Pretending to stare at a pedestrian or landmark in their direction. “PTSAAPOLITD”

Back to subtly with this maneuver. Catch a glimpse by pretending to look at a landmark that catches your eye at a distance. “Coincidentally”, it’s in the same direction as your hottie subject. When the other person “catches” you looking. Consider squinting off into the distance, perhaps the horizon with a slight point or movement of the hand towards the area you are pretending to view. This will throw them off from their suspicions.

In car task. “ITC”

Try to seem consumed by a task in the vehicle, such as wiping down the interior of your vehicle, adjusting the seat belt, or realigning the side mirror.

We all have those minor tasks in our vehicle we need to take care of while driving. Wiping a smudge off a window with our sleeve. Picking a lint off a seat cushion and throwing it out the window, or continuously adjusting that finicky seat belt, etc. use this common part of a drive to scope out and get a good look at an attractive person in the car next to you. It gives you the opportunity to attain a quality amount of unobstructed stare. It’s best used at a controlled intersection, however, depending on the task…it can be utilized anytime.

Just remember to drive safely, pay attention to the road, as well as to the hottie next to you.

Carpool Gawker: Check Out Hotties From a Vehicle

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