The Double Goodbye Dilemma: Avoid second goodbyes, because one is enough

The Double Goodbye. What to do when you see people you already said goodbye to.

Saying goodbye to people can be a process in itself. Whether it’s to bid them adieu for the night, a long period of time, or forever, the farewell we present needs to be the exclamation point to an interaction. Once you exchange your departing words, it can be a mental queue for yourself and a social queue for the other parties involved to move on. Sometimes we feel great about the interaction with the other person, or, there can be a relief that it’s over. If done correctly, an appropriate goodbye leaves all parties involved feeling satisfied that the departing interpersonal exchange was genuine and organic.

However, there are times when our farewells aren’t as clean as we’d like. Awkward moments can arise after having our final chit chat and goodbye. Perhaps the most common one is running into the other person again, after parting ways. For this situation…

Carllrac presents: The Double Goodbye. What to do when you see a person after you have already said your goodbyes to them.

Make an “Are you following me?” Joke

Humor is an effective tool to overcome most awkwardness that arises. Sharing the pleasure of humor strengthens that sense of connection between two people. These are qualities that can define solid, successful bonds. When you share a laugh, you share a positive moment in a person's life, no matter how minor it may seem, it brings a little bit of how it can resonate and have a ripple effect on more than one person.

When you come upon the person you already said goodbye to, previously. “Are you following me?”works best with a fist numb, or tap on the shoulder. Ensure you are moving forward to the exit as you do this. Use a half smile, grin or smirk to react to their response.

Ignore them

Avoiding a “Re-bye” situation can take a lot of energy. You need to read and react in the moment, whereas in other social avoidance scenarios, you can be more methodical and plan your efforts.

So, consider ignoring the other person. it will allow you to do what you were going to do anyway, without a second interaction. Ignoring a person may take energy in itself mentally, but it is efficient. Ignoring people is a passive aggressive way to deal with something, instead of facing it head on.

But, be careful not to damage any relationship that you have with the other person, especially if it’s someone you have to see again later. Try walking past them with a look of intense focus, either looking towards the direction you are travelling, or in the distance, as if you notice and are fixated on something strange.

If you notice them, but they don’t notice you. Stay out of sight, walk away.

Try using covert avoidance of people. If you stealthily move past them, like a ninja, you may be able to avoid the awkward interaction.

If you know the environment you’ll be in before time, wear clothes that camouflage you, like a white shirt to blend in with the office whiteboard you pass by through to get to the exist, or darker colours if the lighting is poor. Yellowish Color’s for places with incandescent lighting. Move close to the ground if you can, which exerts less for and makes you quieter. If you need to move upright, walk or run toe to heel to move smoothly and quietly.

Think of something you forgot to bring up. “Oh, just one more thing I needed to talk to you about.”

This method allows you to make it seem like your previous conversation before departing was so engaging that you had more to add, before you left. It might make them feel better about themselves, and make you look more thoughtful about the previous conversation together.

Try not to start a discussion about another topic. Your goal is to break free and leave, as you’ve already said your goodbyes. A new topic of conversation will prolong that.

With revisiting the previous conversation, it is assumed you already exhausted most of the topic, with very little to go over further. The “ Oh, I have one more thing…” works best when you are satisfied that before saying goodbye, there was a good likelihood of resolution.

With this add on, chances are good that it could be an erroneous thought you are submitting, and you may risk saying something foolish and impertinent to the conversation. To mitigate this, end the conversation with, “that makes sense, I thought I should get your opinion on that.”

Pretend to be on the phone.

Pretending to be on the phone gives us the opportunity to look like we are busy, while still being mobile enough to walk away from the situation. As you pass by the other person, ensure you give a head nod.

The head nod is an effective way to recognize the other person's presence and reaffirm the farewell from earlier on. It allows the other person to feel like you are still engaging with them and your acknowledgment in that moment takes precedence for your attention, even though you are immersed in another conversation.

The Double Goodbye Dilemma: Avoid second goodbyes, because one is enough

The Double Goodbye. What to do when you see people you already said goodbye to.

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