Carllrac Presents

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• At the weekly meeting.  Suggest you want to change your name, to something different from the week before.

• Wear casual clothes during the week, and a suit on casual Fridays.

• Hum the Magnum P.I. theme song, when someone you hate starts talking to you.

• On the inside of your locker, or workspace.  Keep a photoshopped photo of you presenting Elvis Presley his honorary DEA badge, replacing Richard Nixon’s head with yours in the picture.

• On your desk, fill a goldfish bowl with Goldfish crackers.

• Whenever you want to get out of a conversation with a co=worker, as the person “Would you like a hug?”

• At the next sales meeting, suggest that you can increase revenue by selling organs, from some of the office staff.

• Heat fish in the microwave everyday, just to piss off your co-workers.

• Go to the office gossip and make up a story about, Stew- A fake office worker that went on stress leave because of the governments conspiratorial liberal progressive agenda.

• When a coworker asks about your background, and heritage, tell them your culture is, “counter culture.”

• At the next, Secret Santa gift exchange.  Give someone a lock of hair and ransom note made from company newsletter clippings.

• On, National Secretaries Day, distribute a copy of the organizational chart, and highlight how lowly and far down the organizational chain they are.

• Your email signature is a GIF of your favorite classic WWE wrestlers finishing move.

• Falsely accuse someone of masturbating in the boardroom.

• Leave, sealed, yet empty pizza boxes in the lunchroom, pretending to have fallen for, and be disappointed with them in the practical joke.

• Setup a townhall meeting with HR to discuss how the reduction of the honeybee population is due to cellphone towers, and it’s effect on your job performance.

• You work for a Non-Chinese owned company, yet you start demanding employees sing the anthem of the Peoples Republic of China, before each shift.

• You pull the fire alarm, before every safety meeting.

• You use the company credit card to contribute to a Go Fund Me page of a middle aged man, looking to cryogenically freeze his scrotum.

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