If you find any significant money, you should understand any legal consequences for not turning it in, or notifying authorities. Aside from the fact that it is a decent thing to do, there may be legal issues that could present itself by neglecting to do so. But, It's understandable that finding a fortune indiscriminately lying around, could change the trajectory of a person's life. Finders keepers, as they say. But if in good conscience, if you decide to keep the money here are some ideas that may help you in the efforts to keep the money.
If someone is hurt at the scene, always call it in so you are not accused of perpetuating the injury. Whether a large amount of money is available to easily walk away with, or not. You may come across an unsavory character who’s Ill Gotten gains may be exposed and easy to take as they themselves lie in agony. Or, it could be an innocent everyday normal person who was just sick of their bank's high service fees, withdrawing their life’s savings to invest in an alpaca farm. Either way, these people are too vulnerable to be taken advantage of. We all need to be decent human beings and ensure other people's wellbeing is first and foremost on our minds.
Pass a small amount of money around at a local strip club to see if the money is counterfeit or not. It’s hard to believe that a cash fortune would be left behind by someone. Most people would protect that money with their lives, ensuring its whereabouts, until it is safely located. However, oftentimes counterfeit bills, or “funny money'' is produced that essentially have no value, and are produced to defraud unsuspecting merchants. If you happen to come across money, you should verify its legitimacy as legal tender. find a way to verify its authenticity without sounding red flags, having any unreported, fake cash linked back to you.
The strip club litmus test is perfect, as all you need to do is pay your cover charge, and drinks with real money, as this currency goes into a cash register that may be monitored with security cameras. pass along questionable cash to the entertainers within the establishment, away from most security recordings. After shoving bills into the thongs of the club’s dancers and enjoying a lovely night out. Follow some of the strippers on social media to see if they get arrested for passing counterfeit bills. Repeat this method a couple of more times, until you are satisfied. The strip club test may take time and patience, but will prove it’s worth peace of mind.
An act of Nature. Take ¾ of the money you find and stash it away in hiding. Of the remaining cash, throw a small handful in the air allowing the wind to scatter and distribute the money around the vicinity. Then take the remainder of the found money to the police in the container you found it in. Let law enforcement know that you found this bag or box full of cash laying on the ground and cash was scattered throughout the block with the wind swirling money around the neighborhood. Should the police go to the scene to investigate, they should see money strewn about in the way as you stated. Technically, you weren’t lying and had provided the facts. You found cash…it was strewn about the neighborhood… and you then notified the police.
Leave a note. Take the cash and leave a detailed note at the scene, with an explanation, your name, description of the lost item and your phone number smudged so that it is unreadable. Hey, at least you tried.
The avian maneuver. Take the cash and the container it was in. Go to a novelty store, purchase a similar amount of play money. Place it in the container on the way back to where you found it, stop off at a fast food restaurant and dump an order of French fries in it. Place the “fake money” back at the found location. Open the container to allow nearby birds, such as pigeons, crows, or seagulls to get at the French fries and at the same time, eat away at the fake money removing your evidence of fraud.
O Big Brother, where art thou money? If you decide not to do the right thing by turning in large sums of money, people including law enforcement will be interested in pursuing it. Consider that Security cameras can be everywhere. Outside businesses, ATM bank machines, or even vehicle dashboard cameras. Video of an area is most likely available. Take the approach that in some way or somehow, you can be placed in the area by some type of camera. This can be easily explained away by going back to the scene with “lost dog” pamphlets, and if you “coincidentally” run into people looking for the lost fortune, explain how it was weird that you were looking for your lost dog as well that went missing in the same area. Make a remark like, “ this neighborhood is like the Bermuda Triangle with all the things that have gone missing.” Kindly assure them that while you are out and about looking for the family pooch, you’ll keep an eye open for their money.
Launder the money for something innocent. Exchange the money for bobble head figurines and when the authorities track you down to your home looking for cash, you can honestly tell them you don’t have the money…just a home full of bobble head dolls.
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***The contents of this website is satirical, meant to be entertainment. Contact a professional for any advise.*** Keep found money Not report found money
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